6:07 Al kisses me goodbye
6:15 social media time. I put on my necklace and it makes me think about the jewellery I wear. I write a little about it on Instagram.
6:51 little man starts chatting
7:06 Ben says ‘wheel’ very clearly for the first time
7:15 breakfast. Shreddies and milk for Ben. Dark tea and light toast for me
7:30 washing out of dryer
7:32 Ben changed & dressed
7:42 Ben still refusing to wear a t shirt
7:47 nursery rhymes. Ben tolerated incy wincy spider and head shoulders knees and toes but joined in with row row row your boat.
7:53 this conversation keeps happening Me: Can I put your T-shirt on? Ben: no! *big frown*
7:58 the megablocks are out
8:00 I discovered Instagram collections. This makes me happy.
8:02 the fact that it Keeps crashing, however, makes me sad
8:03 finally forced Ben into a T-shirt. He was distracted building his megablocks tower, huffing and puffing as he put it together then saying “phew, I’m hot” while wiping his brow. My little builder boy.
9:09 I have rearranged the kitchen so that Ben has a shelf of things that he can get for himself. He was very interested and wanted to keep going in and taking things out. Independence can be messy but it’s so worth it. After this Ben got a cup out and wanted some water in it. Despite wanting to pour it on the floor he is doing really well at drinking from a cup. He just needs to learn to drink from it rather than play with it. Seeing him be more independent makes me feel so proud. When I do things to make that possible I also feel proud of myself.
9:29 set off for Cortonwood
9:41 Ben confused hearing an alarm not seeing an emergency vehicle
9:50 Ben waves bye bye to two dogs
10:00 Ben finds a stick and repeatedly tells me “mama big stick”. It is in no way big.
10:08 arrive at Asda Cortonwood
10:20 got joggers for Ben and tops for me. All done. Heading to eves now. Very pleased that we got just what I wanted in such an efficient time.
10:22 encounter with wasps. I hate wasps.
10:35 at eves Ben running on the sofas, feeding the fish and jumping on eve. Me and eve being able to chat properly. Ben occupying himself so well. I loved being there and I feel like I’m finally in a phase where I can take Ben places without feeling so stressed. He sat at a real chair to eat dinner, he didn’t actually attempt to climb the stairs once. He did turn the fire on and off but he didn’t burn himself and he didn’t break a single thing. I worry constantly in others peoples’ houses that he will break or ruin things but I realised today that I could not think of a single occasion he has broken anything before. Eve and I talked about her work and me and Ben, we discussed whether I want more children and if Eve wants any children. Seeing the house was very motivating and Eve advised me on how to re-style my living room.
11:19 Ben dancing. I feel like I could fall asleep. Fish n chips for lunch.
1:24 leave eves
1:30 see the bus arrive and run like billy-O to get onto the bus at 1:33 to wait for 6 minutes. Always the way but I hate the thought of not running and missing it. On the bus was a boy of about 8 or 9 with his mum, they looked a lot alike and they were coming home from the shops together. They were chatting and laughing and seemed really close. I couldn’t stop myself from beaming, they were so cute together and just obviously nice friendly people and I could see a lot of myself and Ben in them. I love the bond we share and I look forward to the days ahead when we can spend time together as he grows up.
1:45 changing Ben in the bathroom and he peed all over the floor. While I was cleaning up he tipped water over me.
1:50 I read Ben’s story to him wearing no top. I closed the curtains.
1:55 dressed so I can take the bins out. I am wonder woman taking out both bins together while my baby boy sleeps. Bins were the main thing I argued with my ex about and now I still feel pride each time I do it because I can manage all by myself.
2:00 I call Eve to tell her the tale of toddler moments and Ben is already asleep.
2:30 close my eyes for half an hour.
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4:00 woke up with no idea what day it was or where I was supposed to be. In my very disorientated state one of my first thoughts was “Where’s Al?”
4:05 woke Ben up. Neither of us are happy to be awake
4:15 Jase came to pick Ben up. I like that we get on as well as we do. We chatted about Ben and the cute things he does and commented on the New Linkin Park songs which neither of us are particularly keen on. Oh well, they’ve been one of my top 2 favourite bands since I was 14, maybe it’s time I let them go. Not the old stuff though, I will always love that.
4:30 feeling crap and surfing social media
4:55 forcing myself to dye my hair
5:20 hair covered in dye I make a WITL video
5:45 I see a comment from Ali Edwards on instagram giving me the permission to rest. Why did I need someone else to tell me that?
6:00 shower to wash off the dye
6:23 upload video for Saturday
6:42 eat chocolate
7:00 Ben home. He takes a fire engine and a toy ice cream stall with him to brush his teeth. He does not want to brush his teeth. He attempts to carry both toys and a hairbrush and his step with him from the bathroom to his bedroom. Damn why didn’t I bring my camera upstairs. He requests ‘Tyrannosaurus Drip’ for bedtime story. I like books that rhyme. He knows what he wants, I show him the books one at a time and he says “No…No…No…Yes”
7:30 Writing UKSA Blog post
8:00 Watching Newsroom
8:30 Recording voiceover for an NSD challenge video for FTLOPP
9:00 uploading video and talking with Maria, Sarah and Claire on facebook about the challenge videos.
10:09 and this blog is about to go live and I am about to go to bed.